PMS

There's no way around it. PMS has infected my life this week. Someday I want to find a cure for it... but for now, I'll just live with the rollercoaster of emotions that's tempting to drive me (and my husband!) insane.

I had the day off yesterday, so I spent it running a few errands, then meeting with some people from church, then sitting in the sun with a great book, then making homemade pizza (crust and everything!) with my man, and then finally having some good old fashioned bonding time with our siblings and siblings-in-law. Such a great day off... and the 80 degree weather wasn't bad either!

I had a bit of a meltdown when my mom called to tell me the doctor thinks they need to move my grandma to a nursing home. I still haven't pinpointed the exact reason for my meltdown (her health is relatively good... it's just a physical mobility thing), but I'm blaming PMS and overreaction. Luckily, I had two great listeners around to help me process through everything. Nothing like great friends (and sisters!). There was just something that hurt my heart a little when I thought of my strong, independent grandma being sent to a place without her own kitchen! She's one of the best cooks I've ever known (I always told her she should open a pie shop!)... and to think of that being taken away from her was just too much for me. It's one of the hard parts about growing up - naivety is gone and the world is so real... and not always so nice. Realizing that things are changing (and have changed) and that people are getting older (which isn't always better) is hard to handle. I'll always say that I have loved my twenties, but there's something about this adventure into adulthood that just makes me want to be five again... when my biggest worries were what dress to wear to school and whether or not I'd get white milk or chocolate milk at lunch. Oh, and where I'd be put for our afternoon nap... by the pencil sharpener or the garbage can. Now, I feel like life is full of these really important decisions (buying a house, finding a job, staying healthy, etc., etc.).

Anyway, the good news is that Grandma feels pretty good and is complying with the doctors as they all try to figure out the best living situation for her. It's hard being six hours away and just wanting to be there and help out, but knowing that won't happen for a while. My heart is with her, even though my body isn't. Hopefully, prices on flights from MSP-OMA will drop soon so I can go down and spend some time with everyone.

So - adulthood. Is it all it's cracked up to be? I can remember being younger and always wishing to be older and more mature... now I'm thinking it might be nice to revert. It's always greener... :-)